CHAPTER FIVE

“Honey! Honey!” she called as she approached the room. She met him on the phone and he gave the phone to her. “Who is on the phone?” She asked as she collected the phone. “I don’t know,” he answered.


“Hello….Oh! Steve, how are you doing?” She asked. “I couldn’t hear you earlier,” replied Steve. “Sorry, it was my husband that picked it,” she said. “Are you serious!” He exclaimed. “Yes, why are you sounding like that?” She asked. “No wonder he didn’t respond. I hope I’ve not opened a can of worms?” he asked. “Why?” She asked. “I called you babe and other names that I play around with. I am sure he heard,” he explained. “Is that the can of worms? My husband knows you, he might not know at first, because you didn’t call with the line I saved on my contact. I will tell him you’re the one. Don’t give yourself a hang-up,” she said.

“Please, explain to him clearly, so that he won’t start doubting you,” he responded. “Steve, forget it. That is not a problem. Why did you call me in the first place?” She asked. “I need a favour from you. I’ll send the details to your mail,” he said. “I should know that your call must cost me something,” she responded. “Come on, thanks, you’re always a darling,” he said. “Wait till I see it first, because I haven’t told you I will do it,” she responded jocularly. “I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that. Let me release you, I am sure your husband is still wondering who the caller is. Bye!” He said. “Bye!” she replied as he ended the call.

After Ps. Michael had taken his shower, he came out to eat. “Honey, do you remember Steve?” She asked. “Yes,” he responded. “He was the one that called. Funny enough, he told me he called me baby and you must have heard that. He said he must have gotten me into a mess,” she explained.

“Oh! Well, I overheard your conversation with him,” he said. “Wait, what were you thinking when you picked the phone and heard that?” She asked. “What will you think if you picked my call and you heard that too?” He replied. “Ok, but you trust your wife. And thank God you know that Steve can be very facetious,” she said. “I didn’t know he was the one at first,” he responded. “Yeah, I didn’t know either. I do not have the line he called with on my phone book,” she said. “Ok,” he responded.

Ps. Michael and his wife checked on Barr. Daniel’s wife the following day, after which he dropped his wife at her office. He got to his office and attended to some urgent matters that he had missed the previous day and went to Revd. Oyebade’s place.

Revd. Oyebade gave him a quite questionable look when he got there, although he had called to inform him of his coming. “Look at who we have here! Am I seeing you or someone else?” He exclaimed humorously. “Sir, you know how it is sir. I am really sorry,” he responded. “I am glad you said that, I know how it is. And you also know that I won’t take that excuse,” he said.

“Sir, I won’t lie to you. I didn’t know that the demands will be this much. I even planned to come yesterday but unfortunately, my member was involved in an accident and her husband was not around. Before I knew it, it was already getting late and I had to minister at a church later in the evening and….” he explained as he cuts in. “You know that I know what this entails. But, a consistent call will have made a difference even if you don’t have enough time to visit often,” he said. “I am sorry, I’ll ascertain that it does not repeat itself. How is mummy?” He asked. “She is fine. What of your wife?” He asked. “She is fine too sir,” he responded.“That’s good. Why do I sense that you are burdened?” asked Revd. Oyebade.

Ps. Michael breathed in deeply and answered. “I have been having issues with my wife.” “How do you mean?” Asked Revd Oyebade. “My wife feels I am not giving her attention and that is because of the demands of the work. The house has been tense. We only communicate peacefully on rare occasions. I really don’t know,” he explained.

Revd. Oyebade adjusted his siting posture and said, “Son, I don’t want you to make the same mistake I made when I started ministering.

I was so zealous with God’s work and his sheep that I got carried away at the expense of my home. I misplaced my priority. Things were out of place until I learnt that my home comes before my ministry. Listen, no matter how you run around because of God’s work, it is nothing without your home. You must not give attention to your audience at the expense of your witness,” said Revd. Oyebade and Ps. Michael asked, “I do not get that clearly sir. Who are my witnesses and audience?”

“Your witnesses are the people that are part of your story. The ones that witnessed the time you were growing. They were there when you were learning, when you fell and when you started rising. They witnessed your mistakes and excesses. They knew when it all started. They know who you really are.

Amidst your audience are your parents, siblings, your wife, myself, your close friends and some other people in that category. We know who you really are. You climbed on some of these shoulders to rise.

Your witnesses might also be amidst your audience, but they are primarily your witnesses. If you cannot uphold your testimony before them, whatever you do before your audience is nothing but a show.

Your audience are your sheep and other people that you impact their lives. There must be a correlation between the testimonies of your audience and your witnesses. If not, you’re suddenly becoming an actor which will take you nowhere.

Do you know who your most important witness is right now? Your wife! The woman you are building your home with. No matter how much of a pastor you carry yourself, if she doesn’t see you as one because you’ve failed as a husband, you’re just acting.

“Do you understand me?” asked Revd. Oyebade. “Yes, I do sir,” he replied, as he listened raptly. “Go back and set your priority right. Tell yourself: my home comes first after God, then my ministry. You will be dazed how sweet and easy ministry can be if your home is in place,” said Revd. Oyebade. “Don’t inform your wife about your decisions; involve her in your decisions. Let her into your schedules and plan it together. Let her know when something comes up. Though there are times you will not want to get her worried, but when she is used to the fact that you always open up to her, she will understand the time you don’t, to protect her.

Women are remarkable planners, she’ll help you maximize your time better. Stop frustrating yourself when you can enjoy your life. I know some women can frustrate life out of a man, especially when they are agents of darkness. That was one of the reasons we were never to be yoked with unbelievers and she is not, I know her or…?” he said and paused. “She is not,” he affirmed.

“Good, ask God for a large heart to be able to handle the demands of life properly in the order of its priority. Learn to delegate. You have many families under you that will keep demanding for your attention. You don’t have to be everywhere, delegate to trustworthy men. It will make your work easier. Are you getting me?” He asked. “Yes sir,” he replied.

“Listen to the quiet beckon of the Spirit of God in you. Maximise his presence in you. There are things you might think you must do, if he tells you not to, just let it go. There are little things you might think doesn’t matter, if the Spirit of God prompts you to do them, do them. You might not have time for her like a regular man, but let her yearn for the little time you spend with her. Let her know she comes first, let her feel safe. Don’t carry this busy look around the house. She already knows you are busy. I know God will help you, but you must do your part.” He rose from his seat and prayed for him. “Thank you so much sir, you have really lifted my burdens,” he said. “Stay in touch,” said Revd. Oyebade. “I will,” he responded. “God bless you!”

Thank you for dropping by. Without you, there is no Appointed Pen. I am always blessed to have you around. Do not dispose the salient lessons you’ve deduced from this chapter. If you don’t have your home now, soon, you will, and you will need them. You can also share some things you’ve pinpointed. Thank you for reading!



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